The Croods is a very off-kilter movie.
Including children.
In the first five minutes of the film.
And this trend continues: the family happily trade blows with one another constantly; when the film's two romantic leads meet, they continue the tradition and smack each other up a bit; and one of the film's biggest laughs comes from the family pet taking a short roll off a large ledge. Honestly, the style's more akin to The Three Stooges than a dreamworks movie.
The level of physical and, to some extent, emotional abuse is consistent but it is, at least, even. When I saw Eep, our heroine, bash her soon-to-be boyfriend up on their very first encounter, I was all set for a rehash of Tangled, wherein Rapunzel hits Flynn with a frying pan three times and then threatens to do so again- try reversing that equation and see if you get away with it. But no, Guy, her suitor, bonks her right back. So, it's equal opportunities domestic violence. Which is better, but still not alright.
Actually, the dynamic between Eep and Guy is one of the stronger points of the film- she's physically much more capable than him, but he's smarter. Not that she's unable to learn, and the way she picks things up from him is quite sweet. They actually have chemistry (it sounds stupid to say that about animated characters, but I felt it) and I wanted them to get together. Honestly, the 'father being threatened by daughter's paramour' trope was hampered not by its predictability but simply by the fact I really didn't like the father. Nicholas Cage is not a good voice actor. His voice is weird and distracting and just doesn't work when put the movements of another person's mouth. He was also in The Ant Bully, another animated film and yet again I just found his voicework alienating. This, coupled with the fact that the dad's a douche (he grows as a character (predictably) but is still just not very pleasant), means the audience quickly tire of any scene involving this aspect of the plot and long for greater emphasis on the budding romance.
I should also mention the design of the film, which is lovely (I'd expect no less from Chris Sanders, who did How to Train your Dragon). They have a lot of fun mixing together creatures and creating weird landscapes- I doubt any of it's paleontologically accurate, but who cares? It's nice to look at and leads to some funny moments. Also, is it just me or was there meant to be an implication that the oceans were receding? I mean, there were whales left just kinda lounging around on land, and at one point they seem to walk across a coral reef that's just out there on the ground. It was a bit like Adventure Time, where you get the sense that a big cataclysm has happened recently, but you're not quite sure.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh, and, indeed, I laughed quite a lot, but I would definitely not show this film to a child: there's a lot of violence, between family members and romantic partners and no one ever comments on it. I'm not saying don't expose children to such stuff, but if you do, at least portray it as wrong.
If all that sounds unsanitary to you, then probably avoid this film because that makes up the bulk of the screentime. There are also some morals about family and risk-taking and brains vs. brawn but if you're like me, these won't even reach your brain anymore since there's so much of it shoved down our throats nowadays that I've developed an immunity, like antibiotics. There are things to like- there are an awful lot of jokes, so at least some of them work, and I really do like the romantic leads, it's just the rest of the film is so off that unless you're a fan of slapstick or violence, I don't think it'll do much for you.
